A divorce expert who claims that March is the most popular month for couples to start their divorce has revealed why demand for divorce is soaring, and shared his tips for how to break up amicably.
While the first Monday of January is infamous amongst family lawyers as the day they receive the most divorce applications, divorce expert James Brien of Easy Online Divorce explains that he has seen an unprecedented surge in couples applying for online divorces every day in March as search terms for âhow to get a divorceâ and âhow to end a relationshipâ spike.
âAs couples get past Christmas, New Year and Valentineâs Day and we move into spring, a lot of them see March as a time for new beginnings – like relationship spring cleaning. Moving into warmer weather means that a lot of newer couples who clung onto each other to get through the loneliness of winter are starting to realise theyâre not as compatible as they once thought. This March has been particularly busy for divorce applications because as the cost of living continues to rise, financial pressure puts a lot of strain on relationships – itâs been my busiest month yet.
If youâre planning on divorcing your partner youâre already well aware of the intense feelings of anxiety, fear, and guilt that come with it – and these feelings are intensified the more youâve invested into your relationship. But, if youâve reached a point of unhappiness, itâs not worth sticking with something just because youâve been sticking with it for a long time – there are ways to break up with a partner amicablyâ.
4 tips for breaking up amicably this March (or any other month):
1. Do it in person
The thought of looking your partner in the eyes to tell them you want a divorce is soul-crushing, but direct contact is the best port of call so that they are clear on what youâre communicating and have the chance to ask any questions. Breaking up a long-term relationship over a text or phone call leaves more room for misinterpretation, and more of a chance that your ex partner will feel some resentment towards you for taking the âcowardlyâ way out.
Top tip – only break up with your partner in person if you feel 100% safe to do so. If youâre concerned that they might lash out or harm you in any way, a phone call breakup is a much safer option.
2. Be honest and clear
For the best chance of an amicable divorce, you want your partner to leave with a full understanding of why youâve chosen to end the relationship. This may mean you have to have some difficult conversations, or say some things youâre afraid will hurt the other person – but being honest about your feelings and clear about your intentions is the only way forward.
Top tip – being honest and up-front doesnât mean being disrespectful or aggressive – you can still communicate clearly and remain respectful of the other personâs feelings. Donât throw blame or go on the offensive, just explain your own thoughts and feelings.
3. Take responsibility
Unless thereâs been infidelity or abuse, itâs very rare that a relationship breaking down is entirely one-sided. Consider the role you may have played in this and own the parts of the relationship where you could have been better. Taking responsibility also means being clear and concise on how you plan to maintain any ongoing responsibilities you may have – including payment of bills or custody of children.
Top tip – when it comes to ongoing responsibilities, itâs important not to let emotions cloud your judgement. This may be a painful and difficult time for you, but this ultimately shouldnât factor into any decisions about child custody, for instance.
4. Establish boundaries (and stick to them)
The end of a relationship will take some getting used to – especially for the party who has been broken up with. Make sure you establish boundaries with your partner – whether itâs ending daily contact or blocking them on social media. Donât look at this as cold. Itâs a painful but necessary step in any breakup.
Top tip – be realistic with your boundaries when it comes to any ongoing responsibilities – you canât expect to have zero contact if youâre raising children together. If you and your partner are struggling to reach an agreement on your own, consider hiring a mediator.
ABOUT EASY ONLINE DIVORCE
Easy Online Divorce is the UK’s fastest-growing divorce company that aims to deliver a quicker, hassle-free, low-cost alternative to the traditional lawyer-led divorce process. This year they have saved families ÂŁ1.2million in legal fees and established themselves as Trust Pilot’s top-rated divorce service in the UK with a 4.9 rating.
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